US Marshall Goes Nuts On Woman’s Cell Phone


This is going viral today and I’m not 100% sure why. We all like our phones and they’re pretty expensive so getting yours demolished by a U.S. Marshall is’t ideal.

But lady, don’t go crying police brutality here. Don’t think you got your life flipped upside down. Have you watched the news lately? Police are shooting people left and right, there’s rioting in the streets. And you’re upset your iPhone 5 got curb stomped? That’d be like a bear attacking your camp, eating your canned soup and you being really, really upset that the bear ate your canned soup.

Hello!? You’re lucky the bear didn’t fucking eat you.

So count yourself lucky here cell phone lady. Are you dead? No. Your cell phone is dead. Pick yourself up, head to Verizon and move on.


PS – Worst part about this is this lady has to go to Verizon and deal with Verizon store people. Those people are the second worst, behind only Comcast, which represents the devil.

Double PS – This video covering this whole thing is phenomenal. How about this reporter talking about the involvement of “a multi agency task force.” IT’S A FUCKING CELL PHONE PEOPLE. RELAX.

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