“You Snooze, I News”: The Israel/Gaza Crisis

I know what you’re thinking: “Wait, didn’t you just give us a ‘You Snooze, I News’ yesterday? Don’t you need a break? Aren’t you tired from providing such informative summaries of current events?” Guess what, The General doesn’t take breaks, not when there’s news out there, not when there are people that need informing. Let’s kick it.

What’s been happening?

The Israelis and the Palestinians generally don’t get along. There has been relative calm for about the last two years (although official peace talks fell through), buuuuuut that all changed when three Israeli teenagers were kidnapped and killed, allegedly by Hamas, a militant Palestinian group.

Source: The Economist

Source: The Economist


The Israeli government responded by arresting possible suspects and launching airstrikes targeting Hamas leaders. Three Israelis (who have since been charged and arrested) also kidnapped a Palestinian teenager and burned him to death in retaliation. Israel has hit over 1,700 sites in Gaza with rockets, killing over 200 people and injuring over 1,300 others. Hamas has fired over 1,200 rockets, killing one, with over 225 rockets intercepted by Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system. There have been civilian casualties. Israel has called up over 40,000 reservists and massed troops along the border with Gaza, although no ground offensive has taken place yet. Basically, $#!T IS getting RAEL (lol).

What now?

Egypt tried to broker a ceasefire, but Hamas rejected it harder than Charlie Sheen rejected sobriety, and both sides have resumed their rocket attacks. The rest of the world is pushing for peace (especially the Pope, our go-to commenter), but Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that the Israeli offensive may last “a long time.” Some major peace talks need to happen soon or the violence isn’t going to stop (obviously).

Bigger picture, an end to the tension between Israel and Palestine is nowhere in sight. There isn’t really widespread consensus for a two-state solution (separate, independent Israel and Palestine, but there would be huge disputes over which state gets which land) vs. a one-state solution (which could look any number of ways), so there isn’t yet light at the end of the tunnel.

Source: Twitter


If I had an answer, I’d tell you. The situation’s so messed up, even Captain Planet with all his powers combined couldn’t fix it right now. You can ask me for a solution, but this is all you’re going to get:


Cover photo credit

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