Shia is in the news, again. For the wrong reasons, again.
“Shia LaBeoug was handcuffed and escorted out of the Broadway musical ‘Cabaret’ on Thursday night…the 28 year-old actor was charged with criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct after smoking in the theater and being disruptive during the first act…Labeouf was removed from the theater and arrested, he told cops at the police station ‘I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys. I’m going to ruin your career’…he then used a homophobic slur, calling an officer a ‘fag’…the actor, who was also reportedly muzzled with a face mask because he wouldn’t stop spitting, was charged with criminal trespass, harassment and disorderly conduct”
Come on, Shia! Stop spitting! Shia LaBeouf’s criminal/dickhead history is one of the most unfortunate string of incidents I’ve ever been informed of. Really wish I didn’t know what I know. Why? Because Louis Stevens was every kids’ hero when we were growing up. He was the smart, sly, mischievous youngin who was the king of middle school. He was hilarious. Everyone who watched Louis Stevens, envied Louis Stevens. He was the man. So this is a very tough pill to swallow.
Clearly, this isn’t Shia’s first rodeo (ro-day-oh) with the law.
February 2005 – Assault with a deadly weapon
“In February 2005, LaBeouf was arrested by police in Los Angeles and charged with assault with a deadly weapon after threatening his neighbor by driving into his car. A bystander claimed that LaBeouf lost his cool after he had to wait to get access to his garage while the neighbor, who was blocking his path, chatted to his girlfriend. The onlooker said: “Shia began honking his horn and yelling at the guy, but the neighbor told him to wait a minute, and carried on talking to his girlfriend. Then Shia rammed his car into the back of the other guy’s car. Words were exchanged and Shia jumped out and threatened the neighbor.” LaBeouf allegedly appeared at his neighbor’s front door hours later waving a kitchen knife. The two fought, the cops were called, and the actor was led off in handcuffs.”
This one is justifiable. This encounter that Shia was stuck in just seems like a microcosm of a traffic jam. Traffic is the most miserable experience on this planet. Get out of Shia’s way! There’s nothing worse than being stuck in your car when you’re trying to not be in your car anymore. I feel you.
2007 – Criminal trespassing
“Early in the morning of November 4, 2007, a security guard asked LaBeouf to leave a Chicago Walgreens. After refusing to do so, LaBeouf was arrested for misdemeanor criminal trespassing. The criminal charges were dropped on December 12, 2007.”
This is what I mean. Like what was he doing in the Walgreens that he was asked to leave? Me and my friends used to reek havoc in Walgreens as kids. What could Shia have possibly been doing, as an adult? And why? It’s Walgreens. Has an adult ever been kicked out of Walgreens before? Also, how does it escalate so quickly to an arrest every time? So much intrigue, so little information.
2008 – Misdemeanor drunk driving
“At approximately 3 A.M. on July 27, 2008, LaBeouf was involved in a car crash, at the intersection of La Brea Avenue and Fountain Avenue in Los Angeles. His Ford F-150 was hit from the side by a vehicle running a red light. LaBeouf had been gripping the top of the windowsill as he drove and, upon impact, the truck rolled onto his exposed left hand, crushing it. While responding to the accident, police officers smelled alcohol on LaBeouf’s breath. Because he refused a breathalyzer examination, authorities arrested LaBeouf at the scene for misdemeanor drunk driving, and his driver’s license was suspended for one year. LaBeouf had to undergo one of many hand surgeries immediately after the accident. He said that, as a result of the injuries, he had screws and plates put in his left hand; there is also scarring. A screw was placed in one of his knuckles, and he had a shaved piece of bone from his hip made into a bone for his finger. In April 2009, he stated he had undergone three hand surgeries. He said that he would regain “probably about 80-something percent” use of his hand and, while he would be able to make a fist again, “there’s a knuckle [I will] never be able to move again.” In May 2010, he said that he has “completely” regained movement in his fingers.”
Driving drunk. Classic.
2011 – Bar fight
“In the early morning of February 5, 2011, he was involved in an altercation with another patron at the Mad Bull’s Tavern bar in the Sherman Oaks neighborhood of Los Angeles, which resulted in the actor getting punched in the face. Both LaBeouf and the unnamed patron were placed in handcuffs and questioned by an L.A.P.D. officer but later released with no arrest being made.”
Again, why the altercation, Shia? How many times have you had encounters with the L.A.P.D.? They must honestly roll in and be like, Oh God. It’s Shia being a dick again. Get the muzzle.
2013 – Fired from play
“Labeouf was fired from the play ‘Orphans,’ co-starring Alec Baldwin…Baldwin admits that LaBeouf memorized all of his lines prior to rehearsal and was frustrated waiting for his co-star to catch up. Finally, according to the account, he ‘attacked’ Baldwin in front of the company one day, saying Baldwin was slowing him down. ‘if you don’t say your lines,’ he allegedly said, ‘I’m just going to keep saying my lines.’”
If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen, Baldwin.
There were a couple other insignificant stories that involved the same, consistent issues: disorderly conduct, smoking, trespassing, with the occasional spitting. I also don’t get the ‘trespassing a play’ thing. If you bought a ticket, you bought a ticket, right? Anyways, what a shame. We want Louis Stevens back.
PS- if you haven’t watched Even Stevens since you were a kid, you’re missing out. It’s gold. Shia was gold.