NEW YORK CITY — The National Hockey League announced via their website this morning that officials are investigating Martin St. Louis for game-fixing following his Eastern Conference Finals Game 2 performance on Monday night.
“Everyone has bad games; we get that,” wrote NHL Game-Fixing Czar Petr Palooza. “But, given the degree of Martin’s horrendous play, and his famed history with the Tampa Bay Lightning organization, we believe it is ‘more probable than not’ that his play has been in some way related to game-fixing.”
St. Louis has 0 goals and just 6 assists in New York’s 14 postseason games this spring.
The investigation first began, Palooza said, “about 5 seconds after” this play by St. Louis in the first period of last night’s game.
Critics of the investigation are quick to point out that St. Louis did finish the game with 2 assists.
“Yeah, and OJ promised to help bring the true killers to justice,” Palooza responded.
This incident comes just over a month after Boston University goaltender Matt O’Connor was investigated by the NCAA following a questionable Frozen Four appearance. He surrendered an arsenal of unusual goals, including this one that ultimately cost the Terriers the National Championship.
The NCAA quickly concluded that O’Connor’s play, albeit terrible, was somehow genuine.
From 2003-2011, St. Louis recorded 33 goals and 35 assists in 63 postseason games for the Tampa Bay Lightning. In the 2003-2004 season, he won a Stanley Cup and the Hart Memorial Trophy as the league’s Most Valuable Player during the regular season.
“Exactly,” Palooza commented.