In Dubai over the weekend, hundreds of thousands of dollars fell from the sky. Literally. Traffic stopped as drivers abandoned their vehicles to snag as many handfuls of the mysteriously free cash as possible.
Below is a home video of the scene.
This inherently begs the question: if cash falls from the sky, would you stop, abandon your car, and grab it?
Honestly, I don’t think I would. And, if I did, I wouldn’t keep it.
Look, I’m not some super self-righteous, morally superior hero parading around on my high horse. I’ve not made known the presence of a nice, well-fitting jacket left behind at a party I once threw. I still wear that jacket today. I’ve chat-and-cutted the line at bars many times, selfishly forcing those behind to wait longer. I even kept quiet once when I copied a problem set in middle school then earned a higher grade than the producer of the set from which I copied. I actually think I laughed at said producer.
But grabbing money that’s floating from the sky isn’t something I’d do. There’s two reasons.
1) That’s somebody’s money. Somebody earned that money and they need that money. They may be rich, they may be poor (chances are if they were capable of putting hundreds of thousands of dollars into a position where it could fall from the sky, they’re not poor), but they need that money, and who am I to take it? To me, that’s the same thing as finding a wallet and keeping it. Do people actually do that?
I didn’t earn it, so I would look, notice the money floating, say, “That’s interesting,” and carry on.
2) Bad vibes. Don’t think I’d be able to sit still or feel comfortable ever again. Anywhere. Under any circumstances. I would always feel like someone is coming for that money, like that South Park episode when Stewie knows Brian will get him back — I would be jittery, constantly looking over my shoulder. My whole life would be ruined. I wouldn’t be able to use urinals, turning my back on the entire rest of the room. I wouldn’t be able to drive any vehicle that’s more than a two-seater, for that allows room behind me from which the true money owner could attack. I’d be done.
No, money raining from the sky isn’t for me. It just has a terrible feeling about it, like when you hit 10 green lights in a row and you think, “Oh god, this is too good of a thing to happen to me, what’s coming? Something is coming.” When I hit 10 green lights in a row I immediately park my car on the side of the road and sprint indoors. Too good of a thing; something awful is coming.
Keep your money, Dubai. I’m not interested.
PS – Here’s me in Dubai. No big deal. Yes, the Burj Khalifa is unbelievably tall. Seriously. Like it’s not believable how tall it is. #cultured
photos by The Design Team