— CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) September 30, 2015
Whatever happened to the good old fashioned simple hurricane names, like Hurricane Tim? Hurricane Bill? Hurricane Katrina? We’re onto naming hurricanes weird names like Joaquin, with 4 vowels in just a 7-letter word AND a Q in the mix. How do you say that? What the hell is going on here?
Let’s look at some history of America’s most badass (and simply named) hurricanes.
Hurricane Charley — August 2004. Charley. Simple, common… everybody knows a Charley.
1938 Hurricane — Not the most clever name but we get the point. It was a hurricane and it happened in 1938. Simple.
Superstorm Sandy — Fall 2012. Sandy. Even threw in some alliteration. Simple, memorable, easy to pronounce.
Hurricane Andrew — August 1992. Andrew. Can even shorten it up and call it Andy. No problems here.
Hurricane Katrina — August 2005. Everybody knows about Katrina, and it’s easy enough to say. Once again, no problems here.
Source: Weather Channel
So, Hurricane Joaquin? What the hell is this? I literally have no idea how to say this. Not even close.
Is it jokin? Like, “Me and my homies were just having a couple beers, jokin’ around?
Is it jock-queen? Like, “She’s the best at all the sports, she’s the jock – queen?
I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’m calling this thing Joey and that’s the end of it. I really hope Joey doesn’t make his way too far north, for fall golf is my favorite type of golf and it is difficult to play fall golf amidst a hurricane situation.
PS – Anybody ever wonder how Cuba, Haiti and the Dominican Republic still exist? Every time we have a U.S. hurricane scare the weather guessers are like “and this massive storm has developed south of the Gulf of Mexico that experts fear could be on a warpath for the United States” and then show the satellite image of the storm completely covering those entire places.