Talking to your golf ball really is one of the funnier things in sports. I was thinking about where it comes from and why and here’s what I’ve come up with.
In no other sport do you perform an action and then have such a long period of time to just wait for the result. Baseball is probably the closest thing and in that you still need to be trucking down the first-base line, assessing whether you stay or go, and still participating in the play. In golf you make your swing and then you don’t hit again (hopefully) for a while. So all you have to do is stand there and what, be quiet?
Nope. We talk to our golf ball. Tell it to “sit” like it’s a puppy. Tell it to “go” like it’s a Siri-powered robot. Tell it to “hit softly” like it can bend its legs, absorbing the landing like a gymnast.
Talking to your ball is awesome and an intimate part of golf. You treat your ball like your buddy and hope it treats you well in return. Would be weirder if you didn’t talk to your ball, like you’re some kind of mute freak.