Gator Obviously Bites Woman Swimming in Tampa University Mall Pond

Here we go. This from

Tampa, FloridaA 17-year-old woman was bit by an alligator while swimming in a pond near University Mall on Friday.

The original reports according to Hillsborough Fire Rescue, stated that the woman was feeding the alligator at a bus stop when she was bit. It now appears that she was bit by a 3-foot alligator while swimming in a retention pond near the mall.


Look, you need to have locational awareness. There are certain things you just don’t do when you go certain places. When you go to England, you don’t brush your teeth. When you go to St. Louis, you don’t drink Miller Lite. When you get in a cab, you don’t talk about Uber.

And when you go to Florida, you don’t go near the ponds. Their ponds aren’t like our ponds. Our ponds’ greatest threat is a 5 lb bass nibbling your toes — their ponds have giant carnivore lizards that have been eating things since the dinosaurs walked the Earth. They survived the asteroid-induced nuclear winter. They’re ruthless. They’re sneaky. They’re in Florida.

So, you’re in Florida and you just hop in a pond? What!? Are you insane? Yeah, obviously you got bit. You’re lucky you just got bit.. that thing goes into a death roll and it’s lights out.

Peeps be cray. (Warning: graphic gif below)




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