It’s been a while since we’ve talked about OBL, which is fantastic. But today his will and personal letters were made public so we must take a look at some of the hilarity of it all so we can’t point and laugh at him, mock and demean him.
Here’s what he wanted upon his death (via CNN).
And in a separate letter, from 2008, he wrote, “If I am to be killed, pray for me a lot and give continuous charities in my name.”
Lol. Here’s what he got.
A lot of incredible photos from that night, but those bros driving the white sedan flying the flag out the sunroof while fist pumping out the windows might be the best. Laugh out loud funny.
Here are some other highlights from CNN’s article.
- The documents show that he claimed to still be worth millions of dollars even as he struggled to remain relevant while his al Qaeda network splintered.
“Struggled to stay relevant.” Ha! What a washed up loser.
The financial hardships of al Qaeda also come through in the documents, with bin Laden suggesting a scheme that would extort money from other countries, Mauratania among them, in exchange for a promise from al Qaeda not to attack them in the future.
Al Qaeda, we’re for Islamic justice everywhere unless you pay us then there’s no justice to be had there!
- Bin Laden was reluctant to pursue a caliphate because of the difficulty in garnering popular support for it, along with the day-to-day burden of governing.
Lazy. Osama was lazy.
- In another letter, bin Laden expressed his gratitude that a brother of his was able to visit a dentist — something the most-hunted man in the world was unable to do.
Couldn’t get a dentist. Tough sled — tooth pain is the worst. I find it wildly satisfying that Osama couldn’t get a dentist.
On a related note, there are a few riveting documentaries up on Netflix about the hunt for Bin Laden. I know they’ve done Zero Dark Thirty and all that, but these go in depth about how close they were to getting him in Afghanistan and Tora Bora in the months following 9/11. Fascinating stuff.